SMALL GUY • BIG PLANS

TINY
CEO

No employees. No revenue. Huge vision.

NO EMPLOYEES ★ $0 REVENUE ★ MASSIVE VISION ★ BOARD MEETING CANCELLED ★ NO BOARD ★ NO EMPLOYEES ★ $0 REVENUE ★ MASSIVE VISION ★ BOARD MEETING CANCELLED ★ NO BOARD ★

Built different.
Mostly because it's tiny.

0Employees
$0Revenue
47Meetings
∞Confidence
Tiny CEO

One tiny executive.
One enormous vision.

Tiny CEO founded the company with no employees, no customers and absolutely no idea what the company does.

None of that matters. The chair is huge. The suit is sharp. The quarterly presentation has charts. Investors are advised to stop asking difficult questions.

CEO NOTE:

“We remain extremely confident in our strategy. We will decide what the strategy is at a later date.”

Quarterly results.

Revenue$0
Employees0
Office chairs1
Strategic plansToo many
Actual executionPending
CEO confidenceATH
“BIGGER CHARTS.
BRIGHTER TOMORROW.
SAME TINY CEO.”

Three-phase strategy.

PHASE 01

Look important

Buy suit. Find giant chair. Open laptop. Schedule unnecessary meeting.

PHASE 02

Think bigger

Add charts. Add arrows. Make every arrow point up.

PHASE 03

Figure it out

Optional. Subject to board approval. There is currently no board.

Do not email accounting.

4MxyzMtd1gp4rCxQKruskrYEpHLYs5FGsLGJNJUhpump

$TCEO

No employees. No revenue. Huge vision.